Today, I am not going to talk about my allergy. The topic of today is how my holidays went wrong. My experience is nothing compared to what is happening in the world right now with the pandemic but it was still somewhat traumatizing for me so I wanted to write about it.
I finished my job in February and decided that I would take a month off to travel. My plan was to go to Malaysia to visit friends and then go back to Korea where I lived for a year previously. Unfortunately, with the coronavirus going around, I had to cancel the Korean part of my itinerary. However, Switzerland (where I am from) and Malaysia seemed not to be too affected so I decided to go see my friends. I know it wasn’t a good period to travel and thinking back I should have cancelled the whole trip but it is always easier to make decisions when you know how events unfolded, right?
Anyway, my first week in Malaysia went well, I was very happy. I discovered a lot of places and had a great time with my friends. Even though the cases of Covid-19 was growing at an alarming rate in Switzerland, I tried not to think about it too much. But then, on the second week of my trip, I suffered from a heatstroke. I felt feverish, weak, big headache and I was not hungry. I rested for a day but the next day I went out for breakfast with my friends since we had to check out from our Airbnb to go back to Kuala Lumpur (we were in the North of Malaysia). During breakfast, I proceeded to almost throw up on myself and pass out in the middle of the restaurant. Seeing how I was doing, my friends drove me to a clinic where I got told it was heatstroke. I had to drink a lot of water, stay in the shadow or indoors if possible and it was going to pass in a day or two. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary since it was more than 40°C outside and my body is not used to this climate. We booked a new Airbnb for 2 nights because I couldn’t travel in a car for 6 hours in my state (we were supposed to go back to my friend’s place) and I rested for 2 days. However, after 2 days I still didn’t feel good. I still had a fever, loss of appetite and just feeling really really weak. To make matter worse, one of my friend started to have the exact same symptoms and was diagnosed with heatstroke as well. So we booked yet another Airbnb for 2 nights to rest more. It was so stressful because we always had to check out of a place and urgently find a new place while still trying to be in our budget but thankfully my third friend (the only one not sick) handled everything very well. At the same time, on the other side of the world in Switzerland, they decided to start the lockdown because of the Coronavirus and closed part of the borders. I started to worry that I wouldn’t be able to go home but the priority was too get better first.
After resting for 4 days, I still felt very weak and couldn’t eat anything. My throat was very dry and I had no saliva at all (which makes it very hard to swallow any food…). At this point, we started to worry that my friend and I had the coronavirus. After all, we were always going around with a lot of people around us. Even though we were wearing masks and sanitizing our hands as often as possible, we could still have caught it. So the next day, we visited a hospital to get tested but they completely freaked out when they realized I was from Europe, arrived less than 14 days ago and I had a fever. I was already feeling horrible but they made me feel even worse because they were clearly scared of me. We had to stay in a special tent outside the hospital for hours before a doctor took our vitals (remember, I have a fever and outside is more than 40 degrees). Once done, he told us that it takes 2 to 3 days to get the result of the Covid’s test so since we were young, it was useless to do it and to just go home and quarantine ourselves… So we waited almost 3 hours to get a doctor telling us that he doesn’t want to test us for the Covid-19 and to just go home and rest… that was a great advice…
Let’s just say we were quite depressed that they didn’t want to test us. At this point, we decided to go back to Kuala Lumpur (6 hours drive) and went to a government hospital to ask to be tested. However, they were only testing people coming from some countries (not Switzerland) and/or having been in direct contact with patients. We realized we couldn’t go back to my friend’s house since if we had the coronavirus, we would infect her family. So at 8pm, in a hospital’s parking, we were looking for an Airbnb place that would accept such a late request. We found a place and did the check-in. At this point, I finally decided to call my mom to tell her what was going on. I avoided telling her I was sick until then because I figured that I would get better and it was useless to let her worry for nothing. But I really felt wanted to talk to her so I called and I had a breakdown on the phone which was not the best way to tell her I was sick on the other side of the world… but I couldn’t help myself. Obviously she got very worried and didn’t sleep until the day I landed in Switzerland, I still feel really bad for her to this day.
Anyway, the next day (it was Tuesday, my flight was on Thursday), we heard of another hospital testing people showing symptoms so we went there and I was able to get tested (only because I came from Europe… my friend who had the same symptoms as I did was not allowed to get tested). Again, hours waiting in a tent outside but this time the doctor actually did the test *victory dance*. It doesn’t hurt but it is very uncomfortable. After the test, I decided to show her my hands full of red dots. It had started a few days ago but I didn’t really pay attention until this day. One look at it and she decided to also do the dengue test. This test takes just a few minutes and the result were… positive. I had dengue fever. I just wanted to cry because dengue fever is also a virus, so there is no treatment for it. You just need to drink a lot of water and hope your body will fight against it. I was told to come back the next day to get a blood test to see how my white cells were reacting and to wait 2-3 days for the Coronavirus’ test’s results.
With dengue fever, you have to be careful of not bleeding, diarrhea and throwing up. The afternoon, I had diarrhea, felt like throwing up but forced myself not to (and to couple everything, I was on my period…). Let’s just say that I was depressed and desperate. I couldn’t see the light at the end, it was just getting worse and worse everyday so I had a breakdown again. Thankfully, my 2 friends were awesome and comforted me while I was bowling my eyes out, trying to tell them « don’t touch me I might have the coronavirus » but just being able to sob and say something intelligible. The same night, my sick friend started to get red patches on her hands as well. She decided to go and get tested for dengue. I stayed at the Airbnb alone, waiting for my 2 friends to come back. Well, my healthy friend came back alone at 3am because my sick friend had dengue fever as well and the hospital decided to admit her. It depressed me even more because I would have been able to get admitted if only there was not this coronavirus hanging on my head.
The next day (Wednesday), the lockdown began in Malaysia. Malaysians were not allowed to travel anymore but it was not very clear if foreigners could still leave the country or not. I just prayed that I would be able to go back home. I went to do my blood test and the result was kind of similar to the day before. So not getting worse but not getting better either. I stayed in the Airbnb alone while my friend went to visit my other friend at the hospital. The problem was that when I was alone, I would think of the worst case scenario and just begin to panic so I would call my mom or my brother to try to calm myself. My flight was supposed to be the next day but I had to postpone it because 1) I was not fit to travel 2) I still haven’t gotten my coronavirus test result. But postponing my flight might mean not going back because everyday Switzerland came with more and more rules for the lockdown, one of them being that only Swiss people or Swiss residents can enter Switzerland. So I could definitely see the border closing soon. Plus Malaysia was also on lockdown and we didn’t know if the road to the airport was still open. And a lot of flights started to get cancelled. Again, I stayed alone while my friend was visiting my other friend. It was horrible, I couldn’t stop the horrible thought in my mind. I called my best friend and asked her to tell me about her life but I was not listening, I just kept thinking of what would happen to me (it was never a good ending). During the evening, my friend came back and was able to motivate me a bit because my other friend was getting better and would be able to get discharged the next day. I decided to fight and not give up (not like I had any other option anyway…).
Thurday arrived and I went again to check my blood. However, I went to a small clinic because the government hospital was full of sick people + people getting tested for covid-19 so I didn’t feel safe. The result was worse than the last 2 days. My white cells were diminishing… I took this very hard because I had been drinking more than 6 liters of water per day, I was resting, I was trying to eat a bit but instead of getting better, I was getting even sicker. I didn’t know what to do to change it. I really wanted to get admitted to the hospital but again, I needed to prove the I didn’t have the covid-19 to be accepted..
When I thought it couldn’t get worse, the hospital called to tell me that they couldn’t read my covid-19 test so I had to do it again and wait 2 to 3 days again for the result! I think Thursday was the worse day for me for my mental health. I really wanted to just give up and breakdown in the middle of the street because nothing was going well. My friend, seeing I was really on my last straw decided to take me to a private hospital where you had to pay for the test but you got the result the next day. Even though she was healthy, she decided to do it as well just to make sure she didn’t have it. I did the test but felt very weak and depressed. I tried to get admitted to the hospital but they were adamant: no test result, no admitting for dengue fever. Of course, I can totally understand this decision, it is the most sensible one, you don’t want a covid patient going around your hospital but it was very hard for me at this moment. I was getting worse and I didn’t see any solution apart from getting an IV drip to help me get re-hydrated.
Finally, on Friday things started to look better. My blood cells went up a lot so I was very happy and motivated again. I was still waiting for my coronavirus test and therefore I was very tense but at least my body was winning the fight against dengue. On the way to the hospital to pick up my friend, I got the call from the hospital telling me that my test came back negative. I felt so relieved, I didn’t even know I felt so tense. It felt like a whole new world was opening to me, I finally saw the light at the end. It meant we could go home to my friend’s house, I was able to enter the hospital to pick up my friend and it meant I would maybe be able to catch my flight the next day. Why did I rebook my flight only 2 days after my original flight? Because it was the last flight flying from Kuala Lumpur to Geneva (with one stop). If I couldn’t make it to this flight, I would have to book a new one with another airline, hoping it won’t be cancelled (only Emirates still operated flight from Malaysia to Switzerland but they stopped as well a few days later).
We went home where my mom’s friend was so relieved to see us she kept cooking and feeding us every 2-3 hours (I was still not able to eat a lot but she understood). On Saturday morning, I went to my (what I was hoping) last blood test. I was still improving so I was very happy but the doctor still didn’t feel comfortable letting me take a 16 hours journey. She told me I was very weak and my immune system was so low that if I caught the coronavirus my body wouldn’t be able to fight. I explained the situation with the different countries slowly closing their borders and at the end she agreed to let me go. She told me that I had to stay at home and not go out for any reason and to check my temperature every day. If I threw up or had a fever, I had to go straight to the hospital.
So on Saturday night, my friends dropped me off at the deserted airport. All the shops were closed and only a few foreigners (only 2 flights were leaving at this time, all the others were cancelled) were walking around waiting for their flights. I kept my distance and arrived in Switzerland on Sunday afternoon. I was very tired but very happy to be back, even though Switzerland has way more cases than Malaysia.
It has now been a week since I came back. I didn’t leave my house at all and I stay 2 meters away from my 2 flatmates at all times. I am getting better, a few days ago I finally got saliva again and let me tell you, it changed my life. I can know eat normally and I can drink « only » 2 liters of water a day. I am still really scared to catch the coronavirus since I am at risk but I really hope everything will go well. I see that everyday the number of cases keep increasing so it is a bit depressing but I tell myself that it would get better, it has to get better.
What I omitted in this very long story is that every time, and I really mean every time, I would go the clinic/hospital (and I went there A LOT), everybody was scared of me. Because a foreigner in a hospital can only mean one thing at the moment: Coronavirus. I understand them but I still felt sad to see their reactions. Once, a nurse didn’t even want to talk to me even though we both had masks and there was a glass between us. She freaked out when she saw me and just stopped thinking. It pissed off my friend so much, she wanted to curse her out haha. Finally, the nurse asked her colleague to talk to me and everything went well.
So… you think this is the end right? I thought so as well… but let me tell you, 2 days after writing this article, I felt sick again… so now I need to write the part 2 of how-I-thought-I-was-going-to-die because of dengue fever ^^’. Now 2 months after coming back, I really hope I am done with all of this!
Daily trouble of Aquagenic Urticaria 